


Mending

by blankvellum



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Humor, Physical hurt, Pre-Relationship, Romance, Slow Burn, Snarky Hawke, in the future
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-05-12 06:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5655298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankvellum/pseuds/blankvellum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place between Acts 2 and 3. Corrine Hawke comes face to face with heartbreak and grief after defeating the Arishok though she is not alone. This also follows how Hawke's relationship with Merrill is transformed over time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waking up is the worst part

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This idea has been bouncing around in my head for a bit, this is based off of a playthrough I did of da2 where Merrill out of the blue professed her love for my Hawke in Act 3, so I decided to write out how that came about. Hope you enjoy! Tell me what you think!

“One day, we will return.” The Arishok breathed out, his last breath, before his head fell back.

“It seems that Kirkwall has a new champion” Knight Commander Meredith announced

All the adrenaline was seeping from her body and Corrine Hawke felt all the pain, really felt the big gaping hole in her stomach, she wobbled back and forth trying to stable herself before she dropped down . Everything then went black as she heard indiscernible muffled yells. 

It didn’t seem like much longer when her eyes opened, but she did not feel the cold floor against her back, she was in a bed. Her eyes slowly opened, she could hear herself groan, but didn’t feel like it was from her own body. She looked to be in her bedroom, Corrine tried to sit up, but the response was a sharp pain in her stomach. Anders then came to her side 

“Oh, good, you’re awake. Don’t try to move too quickly, here.” He helped pull her up against the pillows. “There. Take this as well.” He held a potion to her lips, she coughed, it smelled awful. 

“Maker, Anders! Where did you get this? From the sewers?” It even hurt to talk, she drank some of the potion, hoping it would taste better than it smelled, it didn’t. 

“I know, it tastes awful, but it should help the pain.” 

“What is happening?” Corrine questioned. 

“Quite a lot, everyone will not stop talking about you though, there’s often a crowd outside your estate.” 

“How long have I been out?” Hawke expected she'd be fully informed of everything that happened while she was unconscious. 

“Two days, I had to keep you unconscious, the pain would have been too much to bear. You were stabbed through the stomach after all.” 

“Two days?!” Corrine exclaimed. How did the city even manage to survive two days without he?,it could barely manage itself with a viscount let alone without one. “I have to get out of bed” she tried to lifted herself up only to fall back onto the pillows. 

“No you don’t. It will take you several weeks /at least/ to fully recover. You will not leave this bed, Hawke.” Anders said sternly. 

“Not even to go to the bathroom?” Corrine mused with a grin, though it just ended up looking like a pained wince. 

Anders just shook his head, but couldn’t suppress a chuckle. “Varric and the others will want to know how you’re doing, I’ll have to send word. Also no solid foods for awhile.” 

“Yes, ser.” Corrine grumbled as she then watched Anders leave the room and then without wasting a minute, Barlin pranced in barking, this lightened her mood a bit. 

“Hey boy! No jumping up on the bed, now.” 

The mabari whined in response, “Oh stop it, aren’t mabaris supposed to sensitive to their owners’ feelings? Do you want to crush me?” she asked. In response Barlin curled up on the floor next to her bed. What was she supposed to do for all these weeks? Die of boredom? She didn’t like being alone with her thoughts or alone, period. The minutes that went by felt like hours as she tried to occupy her mind by something not depressing. There no books within reach distance, she’d think Anders would have provided her with reading material at least. 

“Well, well! Our Champion survives!” Varric exclaimed suddenly entering the room. “You’re all anybody talks about now.” 

“Partly your doing I imagine, what did you make up about me this time? Summoning a dragon to fight the Qunari?” 

“Now that’s just unrealistic, maybe drakes.” Varric grinned, now sitting at her bedside, his face looking somewhat more serious now, “We thought we almost lost you there, Hawke.” 

“You severely underestimated me then. One qunari can’t kill me.”Corrine looked around the room “Where is everyone? They should all be rushing to my bedside!” 

Varric chuckled, “Well, you seem in good spirits at least. They should be here soon.” 

As if on cue, in came Anders with Aveline, Fenris, and Merrill. Ander was holding a bowl of soup in hand and set it down on Hawke’s lap, “You should eat something.” 

“It’s funny how being stabbed in the stomach doesn’t give you an appetite at all.” Corrine stated, dryly. 

“Hawke, I’m so glad you’re alive- Not that I thought you would die…” Merrill corrected herself quickly, then let her sentence trail off. 

Hawke swore she could see a brief look of worry on Aveline’s face, but it quickly dissipated. “Strange not to have you gallivanting the streets causing trouble, though there is quite a lot of it at the moment without you around.” She then added, “It’s good to see you awake, Hawke.” 

“I am glad to see you are alive.” Fenris stated simply. Corrine was actually surprised he came, they weren’t particularly close. 

“Thank you Fenris, that is the most heartfelt thing anyone has ever said to me.” Fenris just sighed in return, no doubt regretting saying anything at all. There was still one person who was noticeably absent, 

“Where’s Isabela?” It was strange to not see her here, felt incomplete. 

Everyone just looked at each other with concerned looks, then Varric shifted uncomfortably and spoke up, “Hawke… Isabela she’s… gone. She left right after the battle.” 

Corrine should have expected that, but it came as a shock to her still. Isabela had returned with the tome, so she figured she would stay as well. She felt her stomach drop and her heart shatter into a million pieces “Why?” was the only world she could utter. 

“You know how Isabela is, she was never meant to stay in one place, Hawke.”

Varric was right, of course, Isabela never anchored herself down to anyone or anything, except the wide open seas. Corrine felt stupid, Isabela had told her that she wasn’t interested in love, but foolishly she thought that could change. Of all the people to fall in love with, it had to be Isabela. 

She barely noticed everyone leave the room except Merrill, who then looked around her. “Oh! Sorry! I guess that means I should go too.” Corrine stared blankly at the soup as she heard the door close.


	2. Fighting/Ignoring your demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merrill visits a bedbound Hawke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Well I think I'm going to actually regularly update this story for once. I have some inspiration. I have had 3/4 of this chapter already written for monthssss, finally my lazy butt has finished it. If anyone is even reading this, many thanks, you the real MVP.

It had been a week, Corrine had kept track, time just seemed to pass so dreadfully slow. She supposed that’s what happens when you’re bed bound, it was awful. At first she had been just upset about Isabela (she still is), thinking about her eyes gleaming with mischief, her soft hair, her lips…but then she began to think about how Mother would always be at her bedside when she or her siblings were unwell. She had felt a pang in her heart at that thought, she never had much time to herself to mourn her mother’s passing. Kirkwall seemed to always need her and Corrine was more than happy for the distraction, most times. Now she had plenty of time to think, to sink into the deep pit of despair that had been awaiting her. She never allowed herself to fall that far though, she had to keep her composure, be strong.

Although Corrine remained bedbound she was hardly ever alone, Varric made sure of that. Bodahn and Sandal were also always around, Bodahn would serve her meals and Sandal would chat excitedly with Barlin. Anders came in to check her bandages, make her drink foul tasting poultices and applied salves to deep cuts which stung so badly. Corrine was truly an awful patient, she was not agreeable and often refused to do anything Anders told her to do. It was really the only thing she had control over, might as well hold on fast to it. Aveline came around sometimes with Donnic. Fenris surprisingly came back to see her, supplying her with a few bottles of wine to “ease the pain”. Varric was in her room more than anyone though, that silly dwarf, he worried. He would keep her updated on the latest news around Kirkwall which she appreciated. The main news mainly was of how Meredith had begun to take the title as the lead authority in Kirkwall. 

There was always someone around; Corrine thought she knew why though. It was because once she had tried to get out of bed in the middle of the night only to fall flat on her stomach, which hurt an incredible amount. Her guess was that both Anders and Varric conspired together to make sure there were eyes on her at all times. She was only trying to make it to the chamberpot, it wasn’t a big deal. It was soon after that, that she was given a bell by her bedside to ring whenever she needed anything. At first yelling hurt her stomach too much so the bell was the obvious solution. Thanks to Anders she was healing quite well, though it would be awhile until things would go back to normal, she’d at least be able to get out of bed. 

As if on cue Corrine heard footsteps, ofcourse, she couldn’t be alone a half hour before someone else had to come check on her. Anders had only just left for his clinic so that ruled him out. It likely was Varric. Corrine let out a deep sigh, “Varric, you don’t have to keep checking on me, I’m not a child. I can be by myself.” 

It was quiet on the other side of the door for awhile. “It’s me- I mean Merrill. I can leave though.” 

“No it’s fine, come in, Merrill.” Corrine said before she could even think of what she was saying. It was hard to say no to Merrill. Though Corrine didn’t exactly know if she’d be able to maintain her old self, she’d given up trying to keep her guard up around Anders and Varric since they were in all the time. It was only Merrill though, she wouldn’t analyze her too closely like Varric would. Maybe it would be a good distraction. 

It was then that she noticed that while she was wrapped up in her thoughts Merrill had already sat down… on her bed. Merrill didn’t seem to have a good sense of boundaries; she guessed that when you’re in a close knit clan there really are none so she couldn’t blame her. It just took her aback. 

“Oh, that’s good because I didn’t really want to leave.” Merrill admitted. “How are you feeling? Or is that bad to ask?” 

“I’m fine I guess. Anders said that I soon will be able to eat solid foods again so that’s… exciting.” Hawke honestly could not think of anything else to say, which is mainly unheard. Or at least she couldn’t think of anything to say that she would want anyone to hear. “How are you? How’s the mirror restoration going or whatever you’re trying to do with that?” 

Merrill sighed “Not anywhere really, I’m a bit stumped on what to do at the moment. But I’m sure I’ll come up with something.” 

“I’m sorry to disappoint you Merrill, but I’m probably not going to be very entertaining right now.” She said truthfully with a sigh. 

“Oh that’s all right. I’ll just have to entertain you, you’re the one who needs to be entertained after all. It must be awfully boring just lying here all day.” Merrill stated. This surprised Hawke, in a good way. She knew the Dalish always told stories to pass on their history to one another so anything Merrill would share would be interesting. 

“By all means continue then.” 

“This story is a common cautionary tale among my people it’s about Fen’Harel, The Dread Wolf…” Merrill continued on and Corrine found herself engaged in the story of the troublemaker Fen’Harel, a sort of evil God, a trickster. He did help the elven people when called upon, but never in a way that was expected or particularly wanted. One who sealed away the other Gods, which ultimately led to the destruction of Arlathan. Hawke had recalled Merrill yelling, “May the Dread Wolf take you!” in battles at times. That made so much more sense now. 

“The Dread Wolf almost sounds like a demon, helps people but at a price.” 

“In a way yes, he does dwell in the Fade and interact with dreamers, sharing knowledge and sometimes just playing with the. He does feed off of souls like demons, but only dead ones!” Merrill supplied, she had a sparkle in her eye whenever talking about her people. 

Corrine laughed at the admission, “Well, as long as they’re souls of the dead and not the living, that’s ok!” A few moments passed in silence, “Thanks Merrill, for coming by. I appreciate hearing stories that don’t involve me from time to time.” 

Merrill smiled shyly, “It’s the least I can do after all you’ve done for me.”

“You know, we should do this again sometime, just you and me. I don’t think we’re alone together very often now that I think about it.” Corrine felt like all of Merrill’s gratitude was undeserved because she didn’t feel like she has been awfully attentive to Merrill in particular. In Corrine’s eyes, she was just doing the decent thing, the bare minimum. Though actually maybe helping Merrill get something to fix a magical mirror wasn’t the bare minimum. Either way, she wanted to make more of an effort, to feel like she actually deserved her loyalty. 

“Really? That would be lovely.” Merrill agreed, her features brightening. She then stood up, “I think I’m going to let you rest, Hawke, you look a bit weary.” 

“I would be insulted, but that’s probably true. I’ll see you later Merrill or rather, you’ll see me since I am sadly, immobile.” Corrine watched Merrill leave, she had to admit her misery had completely been lifted during their time together, it was quite strange. Hopefully she could keep her emotions at bay just awhile longer. 


	3. Tearing at the seams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawke gets an unexpected and unwanted surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yay! I've also been slowly writing this chapter as well, but finally I have completed it. 2 months is pretty good for me! It kind of ends abruptly though, wasn't sure how to end this chapter

“All done.” Anders announced after he had finished changing Corrine’s wrappings around her stomach as she stood up. “Unfortunately, that’s as comfortable as I can make it.” Anders frowned.

“But I can leave this blasted room now, can’t I?” Corrine questioned, two weeks had passed, she was eager to finally be able to move more freely. 

“Yes, but…” Corrine groaned at the ‘but’, “you won’t be doing any heavy lifting, or strenuous activity for awhile, you can’t put any unneeded strain on the wound while it’s still healing.” Anders clarified.

She was about to make a smart remark when Varric came into the room. “Ah, you’re up! Good! Though you may need to sit back down for this.” He advised. 

Corrine frowned, “What? What could it possibly be?” No. There was no way there could be anymore problems, she’s suffered enough. She’s hit the quota on problems for at least another year.

Varric sighed then continued, “The nobles have arranged some sort of public function, a celebration of you being named as Champion.” 

“Are you kidding me? Don’t they have better things to do? What am I saying of course they don’t.” Corrine lamented, of all the things, a distinguished party was something she looked forward to the least. “I didn’t even ask for this title!”

“I know. This is why I held off telling you for as long as possible. It gives you less time to think about it.” Varric reasoned 

“Wait… less time? When is this event exactly, Varric?” Corrine questioned, eyeing him suspiciously. 

Varric hesitated for a moment then answered, “Tonight.”

“Tonight?!” Corrine exclaimed, “Maker, Varric, you should have told me sooner so I could come up with an excuse in advance though I’d say I hardly need one, considering.” Honestly she’d rather fight off another Qunari invasion than have to deal with this pointless event. Shouldn’t they be electing a new Viscount or… something? 

“You don’t have to stay the entire time, just… stop by for a bit, mingle, eat, whatever.” Varric suggested, though i really wasn't a suggestion at all.

“Fine.” Corrine huffed, “But if I have to suffer I’m going to bring everyone down with me!” she then turned to Anders “Except you, Anders, you can do whatever you want. I have, after all, been an awful patient." 

"Oh thank the Maker!" Anders breathed a sigh of relief. He kept her alive it was the very least Corrine could do.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I can’t believe I’m wearing this.” Corrine complained as she adjusted the bodice of her long dress. Luckily it wasn’t tight as to not put pressure on her stomach. It was a periwinkle color, she remembered Mother had gotten her this dress upon getting back the estate. She had never worn it. She looked in the mirror at her red hair, contrasting with the color of her dress. Mother thought it contrasted nicely. She knew why her mother bought it, hoping to pair her off to some nobleman. 

“Are you ready messere?” Bodahn questioned from the other side of the door, careful not to open the door in case she was in a state of undress. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Corrine sighed as she opened the door. 

“There she is! The woman of the hour!” Varric exclaimed, standing waiting for her downstairs. Merrill, Fenris, and Aveline stand beside him. Aveline looked almost as displeased as she was to be going to this event. At least she got to wear her guard uniform, not fair.

Hawke slowly descended the stairs, wanting to prolong this as long as possible. “Where are we going exactly?” 

“It’s not too far. We’re going to the Cagneys, not exactly nobles, but they hope their association with the Champion herself will win them some favor" Varric explained.,/p>

“How wonderful” Hawke stated dryly as she finally made it down the stairs. “Well, let’s get this over with shall we?” 

“The sooner the better” Aveline agreed.

“That’s the spirit!” Varric said jovially. Why he was in such a good mood, she couldn’t say. 

It wasn’t long until they were to “the estate”. The exterior definitely showed they were trying too hard with overly ornate decorations. You could almost smell the desperation.Going inside the wasn’t much better, their displays were utterly osentatious. There were quite a few people already no doubt there to rub arms with her.

"Oh Champion! You came! We are honored by your appearance!” A middle aged woman greeted them followed by a slightly older male. 

“We see you bring company.” The male said looking over the group cautiously.

"Oh yes. I never go without my adoring fans and trusty dwarf!” Corrine exclaimed. Some one let out a sigh which we guessed was either Aveline or Fenris. 

“Well, do come in! Mingle! Everyone is so eager to meet you!” The woman said, leading her away from her group. Corrine looked back at Varric helplessly and he just shrugged but followed behind at a distance.  
Lady Cagney, or whatever her name was, introduced her to a group of nobles whose names she didn’t care to remember.

At some time during the night her and Varric had gotten separated and she ended up somehow stuck talking to the awfully boring man who went on about his collection of armoires. Why someone would collect armoires was a mystery. Nobles were strange, indeed. Corrine looked around for someone anyone to rescue her, she spotted Aveline and gave her an urgent look. Aveline obliged.

“Excuse me Ser, I have to borrow Hawke for a moment.” Aveline grabbed her by the arm and for that she was eternally grateful.

“Aveline, you are a gift from the Maker himself!” Corrine praised once they were a safe distance away. 

“I admit it was not an entirely selfless act. I don’t think I can endure anymore ladies asking me where my husband is.” They were off to the far end of the room and Corrine hoped they could stay there as long as possible.

“Where are Fenris and Merrill?” Corrine questioned as she looked around for any sign of either of them. 

“I’m not sure. They kept on being mistaken for servants and ordered around, perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea to bring them here.” Aveline answered.

Corrine sighed, in her bout of selfishness she didn’t take that into consideration. “That was not a good judgment call on my part I suppose. I’m going to kill Varric.” 

“Not unless I kill him first.” Aveline said dryly.

Just when she thought they were safe the Cagneys made their way towards them. Corrine silently cursed to herself. 

"There you are, Champion! We thought you had left!“ The woman exclaimed then continued. "A duke and duchess traveled from Orlais just to meet you. Come!”

There was no getting out of this one, Corrine resigned herself to her fate as she followed the couple across the room. It wasn’t hard to pick the duke and duchess out of the crowd, them being the only ones to wear those ridiculously ornate masks perhaps they were impressed with the Cagney's ostentatious decor. 

“Champion, this is Duke Francois and Duchess Genevieve from Montsimmard.” The male Cagney introduced.

“Pleasure to meet you Champion, we have heard much of your exploits.” The Duke spoke. 

“Only the legal ones I hope. I have a reputation to maintain after all.” Corrine quipped, both laughed, but it sounded quite shallow and insincere.

They asked her to retell her fight with the Arishok which she did with ease. 

“We’d both also like to express our condolences regarding your Mother. She was killed by a blood Mage wasn’t she? How dreadful!” The woman shrieked.

“To lose her in such a way must have been horrible, no? Didn’t your siblings also die as well? What bad luck” 

Corrine couldn’t believe these people, who asked about sensitive matters such as that. She’d heard that Orlesians feed off of despair, revel in it, but she couldn’t believe this. She felt a churning in her gut, her mind starting to feel separate from her body. “Excuse me, I’m not feeling so well.” She said, not waiting for a reply as she rushed out of the room.

The nearest coat closet seemed like a good a place as any to hide out. She shut the door and felt herself unraveling, she had tried to hold it together for so long. Tears that had been threatening to pour out finally released. Her chest heaved rapidly as she tried to stifle her sobs, but it was no use all of her restraint had subsided, the floodgates have opened. 

There then was a light knock on the door and a soft, sweet voice could be heard. “Hawke?” It was Merrill.

“Go away.” Hawke managed to choke out between sobs. Breaking down was bad enough, but having someone witness it? Even worse. 

The door opened anyway. Hawke buried her face in her lap, she had never felt more vulnerable in her life. It was quiet; she could feel Merrill kneel down beside her seeing as it was a very small space. Merrill didn't see anything, Corrine felt the other girl's hand on her back, rubbing her soothingly.


End file.
